Wow, i've been following this thread (pretty much all the active on here) ... but this thread has felt strangely familiar and perplexing at the same time. I've also been going over to the antiquatis forum too. The last thread over there that I read earlier today, I actively searched for it.daniel wrote: Now that the pressure has been relieved you won't have any more nervous-related issues, and as your curiosity develops, you will begin to see yourself, internally, as very stable (and everyone else will be crazy! )
Since you already possess those skills, they don't need to ramp up--psi ability tends to "spread" to new areas first. I think it is Nature's way of handing you a new toolbox full of gadgets, and letting you decide on which ones you need to use. The ones you use most will develop to higher degrees.
And just keep in mind that psionic ability is a tool, for the honorable person.
Tiers and Sub-Densities
I wanted to understand what you were talking about when mentioned vMemes. I feel like that for my whole life, I've been trapped inside my head. I just not did a search over at the spiral dynamics website ... i searched for graves ... and now there's a whole bunch of stuff that i NEED to read.
How can you understand yourself and even relate to yourself when the basis of your thoughts come from a perspective that most people fail to acknowledge. I like to keep things simple, I like to keep language simple too so I've always called that perspective the 'Big Picture' and for me I'm on the outside looking in. I visualize it clearly in my head ... I'm in space looking at everything happening.
Here's something that dawned on me I think for the first time since I've been coming here ... am I the only girl here? If so this does not surprise me.
I think women are targetted more with social programming. They do this because they, 'the programmers', know how detrimental a woman who doesn't 'participate' in the RPG game could be. I'm having a hard time finding the right words to convey my idea ...
here's something else that's caused me to go through life a bit backwards. Most people probably reach Tier3 knowing how they got there. This was me when I was a kid ... 3 ... 4 ... 5 years old. Now, I'm saying Tier3 because after understanding what graduation to Tier2 is like ... I could very well be wrong, but I usually am not. I know things without knowing of them.
I'm being a bit fragmented with my writing and this is possibly due having to shield my thoughts, especially from others, because otherwise ... they would be broken.
This forum, this community here is what I've needed my whole life; but it took me 32 years to find my way here. Before I found my way here though I first paid attention to TV for the first ... well, ok, the second time since I stopped paying attention in 1997. I became fascinated with Ancient Aliens; these were ideas, thoughts, theories I had without reading any books or investigating anything. Ohhh ... so it dawned on me one night while I was watching ... hmmmm ... let's google these guys names that speak on the show.
Ahhh .. so I was drawn to David Wilcock's sight. So then I encountered the Law of One ... it resonated with me in such a way it took me to a place in my consciousness that remains in my subsciounscious because if it had been conscious I would have missed some vital training. I wasn't ready yet to go that place, it scared me a little bit because the idea of 'channeled info' didn't sit well with me. Even though it didn't sit well with me ... the information given did.
As time went by I went from being fascinated with in the information put out, but still feeling uncomfortable with the idea of ascension and moving on to a big fluffy world where all is love and light. I'm really sensitive to light ... I've got light blue eyes so my retina is more exposed to it. Too much light burns. ... hmmmm ... and then, there was hell.
I'm excellent and figuring things out without even thinking. When I think .. I get stuck. I see how things are connected ... it's so obvious to me. I guess ... i'm reaching out ... i'm trying to connect with you guys here. I feel like I always get overlooked. Life for me has been almost unbearable, but the fact that I'm still trucking along is proof as to how strong I am even though it appears to other people that I'm weak, because they see me cry out in pain.
So the statement I made above formatted like so I wanted to suggest to you that if you went to my blog and read an article I posted titled "My Testimony'. It's long, it's sad, most people that have responded to me after reading it ... even my husband were overwhelmed with sympathy. I don't like sympothy .. i don't want sympathy ... I love everyone, I love myself ... so the last thing I want is for other people to 'feel for me' .. I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone. But people see what they see with me ... they don't understand me, i'm an orange in a apple orchard. I can see that everyone looks at me funny ... but I don't understand why because I'm the type of person that will sacrifice my own needs for other people's needs. You see I'm an orange but I don't know it; because, since when do fruit check to see how they look in a mirror?
Well ... there's a funny thing with the domain that I decided to use as just my blog ... 'years prior ...'. It was the best band name I had until I recently found a better fit for the purpose of the band, 'Lilly Wave'. (It's kind of like Nine Inch Nails, if you want to understand my reasoning for this ask me.) I've been on a journey which I wrongly called a mission since 2005 to write and record an album and basically play all the parts in my own band ... because the only thing in this world that matters is music. Or maybe it's that music has the ability to move matter yet it does so without any physical force. Back in November of 2007 I was hanging out with my best friends roomate and good friend. I looked up to him and he has to this day been one of the only people I've met in 'real life' that has given me a chance, gotten to know me ... that I highly respect but also look up to because he's broken through and made a career doing music. Well, anywho .. we were talking about something I can't even remember except this: he stopped me mid sentence and said, that's it .. that's your band name ... and I said 'years prior ...'
now, IT ALL MAKES SENSE ... but it just didn't seem to fit until I decided back in September that the only way I could move on and let go of some things would be to 'let it all out' ... so i let it all out ... the syncronocities now, especially while writing this post is almost as mind blowing as the syncronocity that happened in 2005 that literally changed the course of my life. (Who would ever thought that going to see a Nine Inch Nails concert would be where a miracle happened. )
So, I write all of this here ... because it just seems right. Plato and the concepts he get across through dialogue, when sometimes the concepts conveyed are unrelated to topic being discussed. This makes me think of the only 'lyriccs' i've written in my little black journal ... 'i met-a-phor who eight the one who was two be'
i guess it boils down to this .. i could easily spend the rest of my life being an uncommited investigator .. or maybe it would be better said like this: an investigator commited to the investigation ... but up until this point in my life, at age 33 .. i've been fighting so hard to just be me, much less survive. I don't have a job, I don't hang out with anyone, I've got my husband ... my room mate, and my best friend ... none of them are interested in the topics we discuss here. I don't participate in the disussions as much as I would like to ... words .. they are so pesky. To top it all ... the insanity I see everyday it gets me down ... because i've lived mostly inside of my head my whole life .. because i've had no friends to relate to. It's like the people are so mesmerized by the reflections on the cave they are telling me to shut up, call me 'rude', or just ignore me .. when all i want to do is tell them that they will have a better understanding of the story if they step outside of the cave and see what's projecting the images, or shadows.
Oh, there is one conscioushugs member that has visited my site ... made a comment on 'My Testimony' and if you see who it is you'll discover that as scatterbrained as I may come across (because even I view myself as scatterbrained, it makes me laugh), I always come full circle.